I had the most wonderful exchange during my interview yesterday for the upcoming summit How to Live the Laptop Lifestyle and I wanted to tell you about it.
I’ve never done an interview about how my business works and I have to admit I was nervous sharing this with you. You may wonder why I’m telling you about this as I know most of you don’t work at home or run your own business, but I still think this could be a valuable listen for you.
It’s been a bumpy ride at times along my work path, with self doubt and mis-steps, which has attracted more of the same. But, in this interview, we ended up talking about vulnerability and showing up in your day, which really works across so many lifestyles, and I’ve learned to see as a priority in everything I do.
When I first decided to become a coach with my Spiritually Aware Parenting work, I kind of sat on the fence for awhile. Could I really find balance in working and homeschooling as well as just keeping my own parent focus and spiritual awareness? It didn’t come clear overnight, there was a lot of trial and error, but like you’ll hear if you sign up for the interview, I can now find the balance to keep all the balls in the air… (or at least the tools to keep them up most of the time! There’s always “those days”.)
But the most exciting part of the interview was really when we talk about how when you remember it’s not about being perfect, but being yourself, when you remember that you can’t know it all before you begin, rather the only thing you can know is your self, your connection and each day’s offerings.
We’re offered way too many shoulds when we become a parent, we often feel like we have to leave ourselves behind to get done what needs to get done. But what is amazing is that when we let that fall to the sidelines, and chose to shine as ourselves instead, well everything gets done in such harmonious brilliance.
Because the women on this summit are all about following passion and calling, I think you could actually get a huge amount of inspiration from the series. They are about showing up authentically and working with life rather than struggling through it.
So often as parents, we feel we “have to” follow certain courses of action, right? So often we are told the approach to take, and I really want to help you feel empowered to wake up each day, connect to your truest self and shine all day long, finding your flow and knowing your calling!
I may be the only parent coach on the panel, but the summit is filled out with so many amazing Life coaches and fellow moms, I think it may inspire you to shine as Who You Really Are.
Feel free to check it out.
Oh, another thing that I really wanted to tell you about before the weekend...
Spiritual Kids is on sale this month, You can get it for $90, which is really about the cost of a yoga class each week AND you'll be part of the study and accountability group on Facebook where I'll be coaching you through the material starting July 25th! It's going to be fantastic and inspiring all rolled into one! I hope you can join us!
I was raised with books. To this day, my mother has a room lined with books, from ceiling to floor. As a child I would lie on the living room coach and memorize their spines.
Sometimes they were audience members to my imaginary performances... sometimes they were just there, as hidden worlds that I would try to peak into.
One day, I stumbled upon one she didn't have. Which, really in itself was a miracle.
It was called the Celestine Prophecy, and I can't even remember the event that led it falling into my life, but I do know that the story within those pages, changed my life forever.
I still remember the scene where the main character was introduced to seeing energy emitting off plants... witnessing the spiritual essence of living things. It deeply touched me and was a huge step on the path I'm on now. It was like someone knocked on the door of my spirit and whispered... believe what you know. It's true.
Well, guess what? I was interviewed by Christina Louise a few weeks ago for her summit on Parenting for a Peaceful Home, and guess who else is going to be on?
James Redfield, the author of the Celestine Prophecy.
Life is so wonderfully intertwined sometimes, isn't it?
I can't wait to hear all the different speakers that are on this summit; including parent coaches and experts whose work I admire and love.
This interview was such a great experience and a time of so many firsts! Christina (she has such a great name! LOL) really created a space that allowed Spirit to flow, even creating a meditation before the interview began and asking me to lead a meditation during the interview. The conversation flowed and we talk about so many topics in practical spirituality and parenting.
And then... there's James Redfield. What's he going to be talking about?
I really think this could be the parenting series of the year so I want to make sure you get a chance to be a part of it!
Boy-o is turning 8 tomorrow.
8 years since he came earthside under that full moon.
I don't understand where time goes.
I think the whole family is having problems adjusting to his growth spurt. His sisters barely know how to play with this, suddenly, older boy. He's just no longer little.
But maybe the one who has the hardest time adjusting is our boy himself; and that's showing up in one of the worst cases of birthday-itis our family has ever known.
Not only has he been feeling off, overwhelmed, emotionally fragile, overexcited, dizzy and frustrated all at once in the past few days, but I've never seen the law of attraction respond so quickly to his offness.
Birthday-itis is a condition that usually has my husband and I, shaking our heads sadly, saying “I can't stand birthdays”. It comes from the knowledge that a birthday is around the corner and the mind chatter starts to breed discontent and nerves, leading to life being too much.
From around 6- 10 years old our children have been “preparing for birthdays” and having their own plans spiral into the cause of tempers running higher, meltdowns being more... melting, and basically everything being slightly more on edge. All rooted in spiraling thoughts such as:
What will I get as a present?
What if I don't like it?
What if they can't find what I want?
What will it be like to be older?
I don't want to change.
Change is scary.
What do I want from my birthday breakfast?
What if it rains that day?
What do I want to do?
Will everything change when I'm a year older?
I should change now I'm going to be older.
What things should I do when I'm a year older?
I guess I'm too old to do somethings...
I don't want to change.
Change is scary...
What if I don't like what they get for my present...
And so on, spirals and spins through a child's head.
Don't get me wrong. It makes total sense.
Birthday-itis and the thought processes that create it, are completely natural.
A child senses something out of the everyday, an event which is special for them, there will be cake and presents, its supposed to be fun. But it also symbolizes change and different expectations, even from themselves, so that sounds scary. Scary and exciting rolled together creates chaos.
A case of birthday-itis is always greeted with compassion, hugs, and comfort around here. A suffering child is given some time off, some comfy days of quiet play and grounding love to create the reminder that they are themselves, undefined by age. Change can be gradual, not over a day. They are celebrated daily, so a special day for it doesn't need to be too over the top.
But then, sometimes they don't want to settle into that. Sometimes the energy of the event and the spining thoughts are laced with a touch of excitement and down the rabbit hole they go.
I think that's what happened to our soon to be 8, boy-o.
And the only way I can tell is by the attraction point that's presented itself.
In one day he managed to get his fingers trapped in a window, which was an almost impossible accident to have happen as my husband was holding it, and my son's fingers were only in the vicinity for a second.
and he also went into his sister's room and had an accident with a glue gun she was using.
It was an awful day. And after lots of hugs, cuddles and ice-cream, the next day we started talking about how birthday-itis had created a pretty dangerous sign to be held up as an attraction point.
It opened up the conversation from a different angle as, although he's been talking about his “magnet” and the law of attraction for years, he'd never seen the direct result of his thoughts.
It can be so frustrating when we see our children go through “growing pains”, as they learn to observe their inner story and see the results it creates.
I often want to run and make it all better... wrapping them up in cotton wool so they don't get hurt. (Well actually our son was told that he couldn't do much in the lines of biking or swimming or... anything... until after his birthday, because with his attraction point being as it is, we couldn't take a risk.)
Because, no matter how much of a cycle is created with birthday-itis, we have to be aware enough to stand at the side of it. We can't dive in the deep and feel pity or coddle it, we can't become the vocal support of a negative inner dialogue or victimhood.
So, we hug, we comfort, and then we support the positive story.
What's the worst that can happen on your birthday? So what if it all goes horrible? What do you have in life already? What do you love about today? What do you appreciate?
How do you want to feel? What thoughts can feel better?
These are the positive, re-enforcing questions that empower our children to own their thoughts.
These are the questions that promote the healing of the birthday sickness... as well as any bout of self pity or questioning.
We all hold up negative signs sometimes. We all worry or “use our imaginations to create unhappy outcomes” especially in the thick of something that's important to us.
But the awareness of that sign is all that needs to be established, because once we know we're holding it up, we can choose to hold up something different.
There's a hysteria that can be calmed when we observe ourselves, and our children can often suffer from that hysteric run of a thought process.
So, sometimes, the only thing we can do, is hold them tight, tell them we love them more than all the stars in the universe and then help them, step by step, find thoughts that feel better.
And when they start to create feeling better journeys on the pathways of their own minds, then that's when we sigh, and know that, birthdays or not, they are indeed growing up well.
The law of attraction is one of the many topics covered in the Spiritual Kids course, with tools such as crafts, stories and worksheets to empower you in passing on this valuable perspective to your children. Feel free to visit the course page.
This week I held a webinar and I shared a really fantastic tool to help you find your center.
I thought I would share it here on the blog today, so you too could feel the relief as participants did.
I call the process the Octopus Affect.
See, we're all incredibly busy. As parents, we are systematically known for feeling scattered and overwhelmed. We run about, like toddlers, often after toddlers, focusing on as many things as we possibly can for as little time as possible.
I used to identify this scatteredness with the feeling of having lots of tabs open on an internet browser. We try to focus on one, but we just can't. So we have to train our minds to close the tabs.
And then, I figured out the Octopus Affect.
Imagine an octopus, with its tentacles spread out in all directions.
Now, imagine that each of those tentacles are things on your to-do list, they are scattered, varied and all over the place.
Imagine when you feel scattered and all over the place you are focused within the tentacles, scattered in all directions. You try to focus on one, but then feel guilty for the lack of attention to the other ones.
You try to move all tentacles at once and life goes haywire.
Now imagine shifting focus to the core body in the centre of your octopus. Withdraw the arms, knowing that by putting energy within that core and creating stability, the flow of life will take care of all the other parts of the whole.
This is what its all about. We can all spend too much time chasing our own tails, running for tentacle to tentacle, task to task.
But when we draw that energy within, and focus within that core, then we feel relief from the chaos and can find ourselves again... so that we can radiate out through all those tentacles, fully and aligned.
Isn't it exciting? To know that some simple self care techniques can have the incredible ripple affect of bringing ourselves back in the moment and withdraw from the scatteredness of day to day life?
Now, the next step of the exercise is to allow a word for that core to flow to you.
Withdraw your mental tentacles, breathe deep and listen. Give yourself a moment to hear that specific word that signifies that core of your inner “octopus”.
This word may surprise you. Mine was “stillness”, which was less exciting or energizing than I thought I'd find. But still when I tried it on, it really was exactly what I needed to hear.
Now, when you have that word, try breathing deeply and focusing on the word. You can even let the word flow out on your breath, letting it really resonate within you.
This simple tool can be pulled out whenever you feel overwhelmed or stressed. By using the image of the octopus you have a reference point for your own focus.
Within the day, you can ask, are you focusing from the outer ring, from the tips of your tentacles and scattering that energy... or are your resonating from within your core; centred within yourself?
This little exercise really reminds you how important a bit of self awareness and self care is. Its more than a to-do list item. Self Care can't be one of those tentacles. Rather, it has to be the focus of the core, so that the rest gets done. Self care is an inside job. Its a focus and intentional job and once we practice it, well then, woosh, everything else just gets done in a flow.
I am really passionate about helping you find ways of fueling that core self this summer. I believe that in this time, when routines and patterns are thrown in the air, you can consciously put your mind on, well your mind and allow stillness to enter within.
I have just released my Stepping into Your Light Course over on the website.
This course runs for 4 weeks, and although its self contained, meaning you get the videos and workbooks in your inbox to complete on your own time each week, over July I will be doing group coaching and support through the private Facebook group.
I want to make sure you feel empowered to break down those patterns of living on the wide edge of tentacle focusing. I want you to shine from within, to your core.
Because this is the first time we've practised this sort of group coaching through a course, I'm offering it for basically the cost of a yoga class each week.
Actually, that's a good way to think of it. This is a yoga class for your spirit... and after its done, the material is yours to do again and again.
If you'd like more information, please check it out here on the website.
Enrollment closes on July 1.
My husband is out on a bike ride with our son I just had an amazing interview for the dad parenting podcast called No Sitting at the Sidelines, and tomorrow is Father’s Day.
Probably a good time to blog about dads.
My husband is the proudest dad alive. He was there for every birth, cut the cords and was the first human touch our children knew. Hey, he delivered two of them earthside.
Our children know, that no matter what, he’ll do anything for them at any time.
In fact, half the time they ask me to ask him for things… for the mere reason that they know he’ll drop everything to do it and they don’t want to disturb his flow.
Our children can only guess how he pops in to check on them each night,(although our girls do insist they still get their “drink of water from dad”, even if the glass is on their bedside table.)They don’t see how he looks at them in awe as they sleep
and how he daily lets that awe and appreciation flow over him.
I don’t talk about my husband much in my work, although we are so aligned in our parenting approach and, well, in everything else. But lately, I’ve been watching his parenting and appreciating how he just manages to stabilizes us all.
Sometimes we, my son and I especially, get into a vacuum. Sometimes our day to day routine becomes too routine and I start to hear my boy's voice become higher and higher as he feels less grounded in himself. Since he’s now seven, I’ve noticed that he needs his dad more than ever. It now feels like, although he comes to me for hugs, conversation and comfort, he goes to dad to feel better.
Our boy actually once told me so,
“You, mom, you talk me through my problems. Dad, he distracts me and just makes me laugh so I can get on with the day.”
Seems like a good balance.
Our daughters find the same balance with us both. Their dad makes them smile. He makes them feel like the most special girls in the world and he never makes cracks about how he’s going to lock them up because they are getting older or about dates or boys…
Rather he just reminds them that they can do anything and to always remember how special they are.
I think sometimes we forget to find the balance of parenting roles.
Don't get me wrong, by all means, single parents can find that balance of both.
There are some journeys meant to provide both yin and yang in a child’s life then that is truly all that child needs. Father's Day and Mother's Day can provide such trigger emotions for many, and I always hesitate drawing too much attention to them. It is so important to know that everything spiritually, is all laid out, and there’s no right and wrong way. There’s no absolute.
But there are the children who have spiritually lined up to need something that each parent gives separately.
I never stop appreciating the balance I get to take part in with my husband.
My husband and son just got back from their ride, both exhausted, both having ridden too far, but still they are laughing together, talking about the imaginary games and observations they made along the way.
My son is chattering, his voice grounded and centered, he obviously feels more like himself more then he did this morning. He always talks a bit older when he’s chattering with his dad, more secure on the current rung of his journey. There is the yin and yang, that full balance that our son need the masculine elements that brings him balance and he seems to need that balance at this point in his life more than his sisters did.
It excites me to see the balance is two sided as well, since spending time with our boy-o always also centers my husband.
In my book Who They Really Are, I talk about how fathers actually do provide the seed for our children, and mothers are like the garden. It may feel like an uncomfortable image, but it is the truth. Fathers are a huge part of a child and sometimes it feels like their part is too often discredited.
Yet, my readership and membership is made up of 94% women, my clients are all mothers and over the past few months I’ve had a lot of half-thought thoughts which ask… where are the dads?
I know they’re out there. I see them in different groups, The Peaceful Parenting Community or Gentle Parents Unite and I’m proud to also have a few in the Spiritually Aware Parenting Community, which brings the group balance as well.and yet their presence still feels like a huge minority. It feels like you all kind of feel like wallflowers at a party, and I want to find a way to encourage you to come and dance with us.
But I can get the feeling of not wanting to really play too much in the groups. My husband doesn’t belong to any groups. He doesn’t seem himself as anything more than himself, and looking for support of that, well for him that’s an inside job.
Maybe there’s just a flurry of dads out there like him, who are themselves, completely themselves, and in that, without hesitation or doubt, they simply love their children.
They surround their children with the love and security that they instinctively know they need. Maybe sometimes too many approaches and rules cloud how they feel they can parent.
Although, like all of us, perhaps too they sometimes feel they have to fulfill a role with certain guidelines and they need the support to show up as Who They Really Are, rather than the “male role model” they’ve been told to be.
I’m announcing my upcoming webinar this weekend and one of the questions I’ll be asking participants is what their ideal version of a parent looks like? What do you consider the role of a mother and father? What experience would create the chance for you to say “yes! That’s what the role is meant to fulfill!”
I’ve established my own thoughts on what I feel my role looks like.
I want to create security and love for my children. I want them to be able to shine as themselves, knowing they won’t feel judged or scrutinized. I want them to enjoy my company and me be lucky enough to enjoy theirs, and I want to be able to give them a space where they can drop their stress and rest in a space of love and light fun.
Although a father provides a different energy to a child, my ideal image of a father does the same.
He supports. He loves, unconditionally. He’s open to hearing his children’s problems, and offers solutions where he can. He makes them laugh and enjoys their company… and his children enjoys his.
So Dads, on this Father’s Day. I want to tell you that all is well. Your child chose you to come to you in this time and space. They don’t expect you to be the perfect dad, just their dad.
They don’t want you to do everything a “dad” does. They want you to show up as Who You Are, and offer them the love and support to be themselves. They want to feel safe. They want to feel strong and they love it when you push the clouds away.
They want to have fun with you. Connect with your inner child, cast aside anything you’ve been told about who you are, and feel free to show up. Your children know your deepest self anyway.
I think dads need support to show up for their kids. I think sometimes it can feel a little uncharted for them. I think the dads in our lives need to be supported and possibly have the path paved with ease. They need to be supported and loved, just as we all do.
I also think we can encourage our children to see their dads as Who They Really Are.
Because, no matter what, as I always encourage us to see our children as people, as spirits having a physical experience, moms and dads also need the support to show up as themselves, Shining as everything they are.
Happy Father’s Day Dads! Shine on!
Christina shares her personal experiences as a Spiritually Aware Parent as well as tools and tips which will help a parent's journey.